Wednesday, January 30, 2013

this is how i feel right now

I AM GOING NUTS. Seriously, did everyone in this city have a Town Hall meeting about my ass and I just didn't get the invite? Did I fart in a really crowded elevator and everyone knows but me? Did I sleep with the president's wife by accident after one of my drunken binges? Did I wear white after Labor Day? Someone PLEASE tell me what I did to deserve the massive ass kicking I am getting now. I'll pay you! I'll pay you on... Oh wait... that is right-I CAN'T PAY YOU BECAUSE THEY HAVEN'T PAID ME YET. and I still have not booked my trip around China
They did however, bring me 2 big ass boxes of apples for "Chinese New Year" WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO WITH APPLES?! 2 boxes of Apple iPhones..I can deal with but some dingy ass red apples?!...I gave them a look so horrid they left the door open on their way out.
I am going to end up on CNN for a massive killing spree if something doesn't change soon. (for those of you who are sensitive about that comment- press the little X on the top right hand side of the screen) I realize the above statement is harsh, but this is my blog, my outlet, my Oprah, Dr. Phil and Jenny Jones and I say what I feel. I am not the president of the "feelings" club. Normally, I am a sweetheart but the combination of bullshit, and hormones from my monthly menstrual friend I call "the demon from the 7th level of Hell" has me feeling a rage that can only be described as... well fuck IDK but I do know that something has got to happen before I end up on the news!

Tonight is rough. Tomorrow should be better. I am going to follow the instructions to my left and bang my head against a wall until I pass out. (and eat some apples) Good night.


  1. So much you could've made happen with all those dingy apples. 😍😍😍

  2. My head was too big to bang "here".....


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